Friday, May 15, 2015

HATS? GLOVES? COATS?

I just love to read and I picked up a book that is absolutely hilarious. As I turn page after page, I am sure my laugh will go from a chuckle to a full out belly laugh. Are you wondering what book has caught my attention? What author could cause such glee?

Page seven caused a visual image that made me smile: Formally, a man introduces another man to his wife. "Mr. Brown, may I present you to my wife?" I had to smile because my hubby has presented me with many things -- unending tomatoes to be canned, letters to send, work clothes to be washed and, of course, a few flowers and some nice shiny things to wear on my fingers -- but he has never presented me with a man. If he wants to present me with a man, Matthew Macconaughey would be perfectly acceptable.

Opening this book to page 464 brought a whole new revelation. Oh my! I am supposed to wear a hat with street clothes in the daytime but not with an evening dress. Plus, my hands are to be properly concealed in gloves when I go to church, when I am on the street in a city, in a restaurant, in a theater and when I go to lunch, a formal dinner or a dance. Thankfully, I can remove said gloves to partake of my meal but, heaven forbid, those gloves must stay on when I shake hands.

Standing in front of Bill's closet, I turn to page 483. Goodness! Bill is going to have to go shopping. Nowhere, among the jeans, slacks, shirts and sport coats, could I find a Tail Coat, a Single-breasted Tuxedo, a Double-breasted Tuxedo or even a Cutaway with Striped Trousers. I quickly concluded that the Frock Coat, Black Sack Coat with Striped trousers, Business Suits, Country Clothes, White Dinner Coat, White Mess Jacket and Sack Suit must be at the cleaners.

Have you figured it out?

Etiquette, by Emily Post, 79th printing, 1953.

I can hardly wait to get to chapter 53: In Official Washington. That will be the belly laugh chapter - me getting invited to the White House.

I do think people today need to pay more attention to manners. We need to hear thank you, please and you are welcome. BUT this book is 635 pages long. There is no way anyone could follow all these etiquette rules and regulations.

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Sometimes we read the Bible much like people read Emily Post. We see it as a list of do's and don'ts. We realize there is no way we can do everything that is written. We worry about what we should and should not do. Being a Christian - is it really that complicated?

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."        Matthew 22:36-40

Start with the greatest commandment and the rest will be far less complicated.

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