COFFEE

I do believe one of the best things God placed in my life is coffee!  I tell people that I will know I have died and gone to heaven when I hear, “Good morning Mary.  Here is your coffee.” ..... and I do not have to make a mad dash to the bathroom.

Coffee is my morning jumper cable.  There are morning people and there are night people.  I am an in-between people.  I do not hop out of bed before daylight ready to face the day.  I do not stay up till 2 or 3 AM on purpose.  But, I am, for sure, a hand-me-a-cup-of-coffee person.  Prior to coffee, my eyes open half way.  My ears are allergic to sound.  My mouth ... my mouth, a shock to many people, cannot make conversation.  My brain is in place waiting for me to hit the start button..aka coffee.

One sip and — just like that — there is life on the planet. 

I know people who are animated the minute their eyes open.  I know people who can function at 5:30 AM.   I know people who can get up and do their Bible reading.  How?  That, I do not know. 

Anyway, writing this made we think about other things God placed in my life.  Not the big things — mountains, the ocean, a rose — but the surprises that came with the big things.

I carried a child, in my womb, and thought that was a wonder, a miracle.  I felt joy and I felt humble and blessed.  A baby.  A gift.  Changing diapers and trying to rest.  And then the surprise.  That baby touched my cheek.  How could a touch ... there are no words.

As you all know, I love to travel.  I consider traveling a very big thing.  Yes, we take interstates, buy my real joy comes on back roads.  On streets through small towns.  I do not take our travels lightly.  They have been a blessing and have allowed us to see such wonders.  But there they sat.  In a small town, on a front step.  A daddy and daughter waiting on the school bus.  You could tell she was headed to school.  The backpack was there, full of books and lessons and the opportunity of learning.  The surprise was the absolute attention the father was giving his daughter.  There was no phone in his hand.  There was no looking around or checking his watch.  She had his undivided attention.  The love he was giving her ... there are no words.

Travel is a big thing, but when you combine travel with loved ones, it becomes a really, really big thing. Travel has included time spent on mother/daughter trips and mother/son cruises.  And trips to Florida with our daughter’s family.  I love that they take grandma along (Grandpa is usually in the field when we did the trips to Florida.) and on one trip we flew.  Tim, the youngest of four boys and 5 at the time, would have wanted to be with his brothers or walking with his dad, but that would have meant his mother would never know where Tim was.  It would not have worked to tell him to stay with grandma, BUT, if he was in charge of grandma, he would take that responsibility very seriously.  And he did.  He guided me through the scanner at the airport.  He sat beside me as we waited to board.  He made sure I was okay on the plane.  And you know what?  At the age of 17, he still holds my hand and meets me at the door with open arms and a hug ... there are no words.

We all know the big blessings ... the beauty of a sunset and sunrise.  The grandeur of the mountains and the vastness of the oceans.  BUT NEVER, NEVER, NEVER ignore the hidden blessings waiting for us.  A cup of coffee.  A child touching our cheek.  Seeing the total devotion of a father for his child.  The wonder of a grandchild’s hug.  There are no words to describe these surprise blessings.

 SIX WEEKS

Please know, our Pastor and I have a very good relationship.  I love his sermons and his sense of humor.  He is still trying to understand me.  (Good luck with that Pastor Larry.)  I want to thank him for this week’s blog.  You see...

I rarely disagree with him, but occasionally......  He wrote, in our church newsletter:  Halfway through February 2021, Lent begins.  Lent, like Advent, really has no Biblical basis.  The Bible records the events leading up to the death, burial and Resurrection of Christ, but there is no special significance to the six weeks prior.

Au contraire Pastor Larry, although there is no Biblical basis for Lent, those six weeks do have special significance.  Google says Lent is a season for sacrifice, repentance, and prayer.  I believe Google should say Lent is a season for preparation.  Those six weeks are significant because they were Jesus’ preparation time.  He had so much to accomplish during those last six weeks.   It would have been like trying to get all your work done before 5 o’clock Friday.

Disclaimer:  This is not an actual timeline of Jesus’ last six weeks.  These are taken from Matthew 16 -27 and John 17

The disciples had to learn so much in those last six weeks.  “Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand?”

How could they not understand by now?  Peter had answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” but then rebuked Jesus when Jesus explained that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.  I wonder if Jesus worried that six weeks might not be long enough to get them ready.

Peter, James, and John, the brother of James, were on the high mountain to witness the transfiguration.  The disciples listened as Jesus told them children are the greatest in the kingdom of heaven and that their Father in heaven is not willing that any of his sheep should parish.  They were confused when told that the last will be first and the first will be last.

So much to tell and explain and now even less time.  Jesus was instructing them using parables ... words and ideas they could relate to — The rich man ... Workers in the vineyard.  He healed.  And he arrived in Jerusalem.

Were the words “Hosanna to the Son of David!” and “Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!” bittersweet?  Jesus acted in ways the disciples had never seen.  He overturned the tables in the Temple and cursed a fig tree.  He used more parables, he warned about the end time, and explained the time was unknown.  Jesus was still preparing the world and 5 o’clock Friday was even closer.

Jesus was anointed and betrayed. Jesus prayed.

What would it have been like to have been heard Jesus pray?  How did his voice sound when he said, “Father, the hour has come.  Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you.”

What if the disciples had not been sleeping and would have heard Jesus speaking to his Father, “My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.”

And Jesus prayed for believers, “Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.”

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Au contraire Pastor Larry, although there is no Biblical basis for Lent, those six weeks have special significance.  As does Advent.  They are both times of preparation.  During Advent, God prepared the world to receive His Son.  During Lent, Jesus prepared the world for Him to go home.  Never fear though, you redeemed yourself in the last sentences.

“Certainly, Christ died for the whole world.  But it is personal.  He died for me.  He was buried in a borrowed tomb because of my sin.  He rose from the dead to show me that He has power over death and to show me that death will not contain me.”

During those very significant six weeks, Jesus  taught, healed, prayed and died...so Pastor Larry could live ... so I could live ... so you could live.

 Church Pews

We attend a small rural church.  A church where everyone is welcome.  Hey, they welcomed me.  You knew exactly where to find your friends.  They sat in groups.  There was Orville’s family sitting on the right side.  Four generations attending church, with a daughter sitting beside her parents and a granddaughter sitting next to her grandma.  Sitting toward the back was Dean’s family.  This family surrounded their special needs son/brother with love. 

Multiple generations seems to be a theme.  You would find Max, a brother to Orville, sitting in a pew with his wife where they could see their grown daughters sitting together and see their son running the camera.

The church is made up of families, individuals and a special group of ladies I dubbed my “back row beauties.” This row of lovely ladies took me into their fold immediately.  I was 70 when we started attending and, I think, they looked at me as being like a daughter.  Honestly, some were old enough to be my mother.  Doris and Ethel, two sisters, along with other women, filled that pew with dignity and grace. 

Orville, Max, Dean, and Doris no longer sit in their pews.  During the last year, these four saints have died.  And I miss them.

My husband had many business dealings with Orville and Dean.  Their word was honest and true.  I did not know Max prior to coming to church, but I don’t think I ever saw him without a smile.  If that is not the case, do not tell me.  I want to remember this new friend  as I saw him.  He did try to look stern, but it was more of a crooked grin that made him look like he had gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.  

And Doris.  Doris has not been well and she stayed home for fear of catching Covid.  That broke my heart, because the back row did not look right.  Doris had offered me friendship when I first came and I missed my friend.  When I heard Doris had died, I was relieved.  Now I know Doris has her strength back.  Doris is no longer confined.  Doris has moved to a new pew, but I will always see her sitting with the “back row beauties.”

During the same time, we have told other family and friends goodbye and supported those that grieved.  We hold our memories in our hearts and we worship knowing our lives were enriched by each person who has left an empty place in our rural church pews.

 Where do you go in the middle of the night?

It is one.  Then two.  Then three.  The hands, on the clock, seem to stop.  All I want to do is SLEEP!  But I cannot.  

I get up and look out the window.  How can the night be so dark?  It is almost a new color.  Black is not deep enough to describe it.  The street lights are a soft glow, but their light only reaches so far.  All I want to do is SLEEP.

I walk around the house.  Maybe walking will help.  I tried leaning over the chair.  That usually helps, but not tonight.  The dark seems to come right through the windows.  I don’t want to turn on a light.  That will wake others.  All I want to do is SLEEP.

I go back to bed and find that sweet spot.  You know...where your body fits in the mattress and relaxes.  Surely I can sleep now.  But no...All I want to do is SLEEP.

                            =====

I have RLS:  Restless Leg Syndrome.  Thankfully, I have medicine that controls it - most of the time.  Before medicine, the above is a description of my nights.  Every night!  Before medicine, the minute I would sit down or try to relax, my legs would go nuts.  Before medicine, a car ride of more than 20 minutes could be pure torture.  Before medicine, forget sitting through a movie or a meeting.  Before medicine,  I would get, maybe, two hours of sleep.  Before medicine...

My mother had RLS and our son is getting it.  My mother walked miles inside her home.  One night she walked into a door and gave herself a black eye.  There are nights that I raise my fist toward heaven and angrily say, “Thanks mom!”  

My RLS started slowly.  I can remember the first time it hit.  Out of the blue, I had to move my leg.  Until then I did not understand when mom tried to describe how her legs felt.  It is impossible to explain.  It is impossible to understand.  It can be random.  Allowing me to go to a movie and sit still.  We can drive all day.  But, when it hits, I have to move.  

Before medicine, I slept on the couch more than in our bed.  I did not want to keep Bill awake.  And trying to lay still made it worse.  When mother had this and when mine first started, there was not even a name for it.  There were no medications.  Anyone with RLS just walked the floor and screamed, “All I want to do SLEEP!”

I knew I had to do something when I found myself headed to the kitchen and thinking, “If I take a knife up the back of my leg it will quit.  It will stop.”  I woke Bill up because it scared me to think I might have tried that.  I went to the doctor.  Thankfully, my doctor believed me.  I started on medication in 2006 and it works, most of the time.  When it doesn’t, I stand at the window and look out.  Trying to find hope through that very deep black night.

                         =====

I am writing this to point out that many people have, what I call, invisible diseases.  Diseases that others cannot see and even doctors do not understand.  Yes, doctors, some doctors anyway, now recognize RLS as a medical condition.  But not in the beginning.  And even now, there are doctors that will tell a person suffering from RLS to quit drinking wine and get exercise.  I would not wish RLS on anyone, except those doctors.  I wish they would have it for a week.   

I am very fortunate.  First, I have a very understanding and supportive husband.  RLS can destroy a marriage and sleep deprivation can impact the ability to work.  Second, medicine will control mine, most of the time.  Third, I have found things that help.  I work jigsaw puzzles, while watching TV.  I work at the computer.  For some strange reason, keeping my hands busy seems to help, sometimes.  I can get relief in a rocking chair, sometimes.  Forth, the medical community now recognizes RLS as a medical condition.  They are not sure what causes it, but agree that low levels of iron, in the brain, is a contributing factor.  Sadly, there is no good way to raise those levels.  Iron shots help some people and not others.  I take a medicine that is for Parkinson’s, but that does not help others and comes with side effects.  While on this medicine, I will not shed any pounds.  

I have written on this before and doing so again, because I want you to understand that many people suffer from invisible diseases.  To look at me, you might not know that I did not sleep last night and that I am exhausted.  To look at me, you might think I need to shed a few pounds, or more.  To look at one of my friends, you might not realize she has fibromyalgia and that every part of her body hurts.  What about those with diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, migraines, vertigo, chronic pain or fatigue, endometriosis, depression, spinal disorders, Crohn’s disease, allergies, or anxiety. These are just a few.  To look at these people, you might not know that they are hurting and wonder why no one understands.  That no one realizes how pain can invade a body.  How endometriosis can change your life and no one can see the scars.  I want you to understand that people suffer from invisible diseases.  And they are real!

Are you still wondering about me thinking a knife up the back of my leg might help?  I thought if I told people that they would think I was crazy.  Then I found a group page. Almost every person tells the same story:  There was this one night, it was so dark it could only be called deep black,  and I thought if I could cut my leg or even cut them off it would stop.  

And I realized...I am not crazy.  I found people who understand.  I found a page on Facebook where it is very common to see a post:  My legs are going nuts.  It is two o’clock.  All I want to do is SLEEP.