THAT’S FUNNY

I am going on vacation next week so I decided to get my blog written early, have it scheduled to post, and off I could go.  There is only one problem with that --- I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WRITE! 

When this happens, I can usually look at my future blog ideas and an idea will spin around and around and end up on the paper.  Not today!  I looked in the backup if all else fails folder.  Still drawing a blank. 

Then I saw it.  Why not?  It is snowing (on November 12) and this is about winter boots.  My second thought was, “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.”  My next thought was, “Go for it.  Everyone needs a laugh.”

WINTER BOOTS

A Teacher’s Nightmare

He asked for help and she could see why.  Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on.  By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

She almost cried when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.”

She looked and sure enough, they were.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.  She managed to keep her cool as, together; they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet.

He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.”

She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you say so?”  Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

No sooner had they got the boots off, he said, “They’re my brother’s boots.  But my mom made me wear ‘em today.” 

Now she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry.  But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots BACK onto his feet again. 

Helping him into his coat, she asked, “Now, where are your mittens?”

He said, “I stuffed ‘em in the toes of my boots….”

She’ll be eligible to come back into the classroom in three years.

I can picture this and sympathize with the teacher.  Every parent knows the fun of getting a child into a snowsuit, stocking cap, gloves (How can three fingers fit in the thumb spot?), and boots.  Of course, as the last item of winter garb goes on, every parent’s worst nightmare is to hear, “I have to go to the bathroom.”

“I know exactly how the teacher felt.  The boots were to protect the child’s feet against the snow and cold.  She struggled to get them on the child.”

Hi God.  You put boots on kids?

“No.  I try to get my children to wear protection against the devil’s schemes.  Instead, you try to handle everything yourself.”

What are you talking about?  I try not to bother you with the little things.  Surely I can do that without bothering you.  And the big things … I thought all I had to do was ask you and you would pop right in there between me and that ole devil.

“Have you heard of the Armor of God?”

Sorta…

“Please read Ephesians 6:10-20.  I’ll wait.”

Be strong in the Lord … full armor of God … against the devil’s schemes, rulers, authorities, powers of this dark world, spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  WHAT?  There are evil forces in the heavenly realms? 

“Keep reading.”

Stand your ground … belt of truth … breastplate of righteousness … gospel of peace … shield of faith …helmet of salvation … sword of the Spirit … Pray.

That’s a lot of important stuff in those eleven verses.  Why can’t I just do the prayer part?

“Think about the boy and his boots.  His mother wanted his feet to be dry so she gave him boots.  She prepared her son for what was in front of him.  I am doing the same for my children.  I am preparing you.”

You are preparing me to keep my feet dry?

“There is more at stake than wet feet.  I am preparing you to save your soul!  The devil is powerful and will try to trick you.  You must be ready to stand strong.  You must use truth, righteousness, the gospel of peace, faith, salvation, and the word of God.”

And prayer!  Don’t forget prayer.

“By the way, I liked the story of the teacher, the boy, and the boots.  Thanks for making me smile.”

You’re welcome. 

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The moral of this week’s blog:  First, be prepared with the full armor of God.  Second, when putting snow boots on children, be sure there are no mittens in the toe and start with the left.  No, the other left.