A FRIEND.  A GOODBYE.  PEACE

If you were in church April 13, you know we had a friend that was on hospice and had only a few days to live.  We were struggling with knowing our friend would die while, at the same time, we were saying prayers that he would die quickly.  We were supporting the kids.  (Adults, but still kids to me and that is how I will refer to them.).  There were three trips made to visit, with each visit requiring an hour and a half drive each direction.  Each trip a mix of being a blessing and being a struggle.

Mr. Terry.  I do believe that God put a little extra kick in Terry.  He had a way with people and a sense of humor that made for excellent stories.  He taught school and served a few years as a principal.  He retired and traveled.  He worked hard and drank too much.  He enjoyed life and the people he met.  He quail hunted with Bill and was the one person I allowed to call me Babe.

Terry and Jan were married and had three children.  That is the newspaper version.  They were married, but they were also divorced, lived together, and then were remarried.  Life is not easy, but we learn from the complications.  They learned love can bridge gaps.  The three kids?  Same parents but they had entirely different personalities.  Three kids that love their dad.  Fought with their dad.  Three kids, who over the years, discovered a man they loved, respected, and understood.  Three kids who sat in a nursing home room and told stories.  They laughed.  They cried.  They took care of their father.  Three kids that “made their mother proud” by the way they pulled together instead of falling apart as many families do.  They told their father goodbye.

And a blessing is that his wife told him goodbye too.  Jan has Alzheimer’s.  Terry took care of her until he couldn’t.  He found a place in a memory care facility and Jan lives in her world now.  Occasionally, she will have a moment where her old world opens and she recognizes her children.  She knows Terry.  Those moments are rare and each is kept in their hearts.  Now, one of those moments is a special blessing.  Jan no longer makes words, just sounds, until the other day, when being fed, she clearly said, “Terry.  Tell him goodbye.” And then the old world closed.  How did she know?  She had been told he was not well, but not that he was in hospice.  Had someone slipped and said something?  I don’t think so.  I believe that the connection of their hearts is so strong that she knew.  And I believe God opened her old world long enough for her to say goodbye.

I could write pages of Terry stories.  I could make you laugh till the tears flowed and your belly hurt.  BUT, for some reason, this did not go in that direction.  I thought I would write about how Bill and Terry met.  How our daughter calls him Dad 2 and wanted her dad and Terry to walk her down the aisle when she got married.  (They did not both walk her down the aisle, but that is a story for another day.)  I thought I would tell you about the talks he and I had.  Sometimes very honest talks with words he probably didn’t want to hear.  That is what I thought.  That is not what I wrote.

Sunday, at the end of service, I told the congregation that if they had never accepted Jesus as their Savior, to do it before it was too late.  We are human and do not know when our time would come.  It could be too late to make that decision.  I told them Terry had made that decision and he told Bill, “We will quail hunt again.”

Today, Terry is checking out his new room in his Father’s house.  He will be … I have no idea what he will be doing.  But I think those in charge will be looking in the Word and saying, “Where does it say he can do that?”

Jesus will be saying, “Welcome home Terry.” Jesus will also nod to those in charge and say, “Shake them up a bit.  It will be good for them.”

That is what I want to say to Terry.  You shook up our lives.  Thank you and, someday, I will expect to hear you say, “Welcome home Babe.”