30 PIECES

(based on Matthew 26:14-16, 47-49 and 27:3-10 and Luke 22:1-5, 21-23, 47-48)

There it sat. A bag. A cloth bag with 30 pieces of silver. "Why," Judas thought, "do I feel sick to my stomach? It had to happen. The Messiah was supposed to fight! He was supposed to win. Jesus -- Jesus didn't fight. Jesus healed and talked."

Can you picture Judas staring at the bag containing the money he had received from the priest? Look close. What is his body language? Is he still defiant? Is he still an accuser? Is he wiping his lips with his hand, as if to wipe the filth of his act away?

Again Judas bangs his hands on the table, "If only he had been a Zealot. He was supposed to oppose the Roman soldiers not heal their children. But ---- "

"But when Jesus said to me, 'Judas, betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss?' I knew. I knew. But it was too late."

Look again at Judas. I picture him walking the floor. Back and forth. Back and forth. Anguish. Sweat dripping.

Mad at Jesus for not being who he thought he should be.

Mad at himself for allowing the devil to lead him to the priests.

Mad at the priests for using him to get what they wanted.

Mad at himself. Pacing back and forth. Back and forth. His mind going from anger to shame. To regret.

"I will take the money back. It will be okay. I will tell the priests. They ---. I will take the money back. It is early, daylight now. They will be there. I will go. I will take the money back," Judas said feeling relief. "I will take the money back."

Judas did repent. The priests and elders did not care. Judas threw the money down and --

IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU

Do not think for a minute I am trying to make Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him, a person who deserves our compassion. But maybe, just maybe.

It could happen to you. Does Jesus always live up to the image you have of him? And when he doesn't, how do you feel?

You see, Judas, who also betrayed him, wanted Jesus to act one way but Jesus came to act in another. Jesus was supposed to fight the Romans. Jesus - if he was the Messiah - was supposed to save the chosen people. Judas felt deceived and let down.

It is so easy to say, "I would never betray Jesus." The words are spoken with conviction. Those words slip right off the tongue, as if they were true. And they are true, at the moment.

Then life happens. Tragedy appears in a wreck, an illness or an addiction. A strong love changes and disappears. "Jesus, how could you let this happen? If you are the God of love." And suddenly the image of Jesus changes because he is not saving. He is not healing. "Isn't that what you are to do Jesus? Save and heal?"

And then confusion sets in, "Well, if he isn't going to save this person whom I love. If he isn't going to heal me, what else isn't he going to do?" The image of Jesus changes as it did for Judas.

Do you betray Jesus because he does not act like the Messiah you want?

VERY IMPORTANT: When Judas finally realized he had made a terrible mistake, he should have gone to Jesus. Jesus would have forgiven him. When you realize you have made a terrible mistake, go to Jesus. Jesus will forgive you.