WHY

WHY.  Three letters.  A short word.  The definition is even short:  cause, reason or purpose.  And yet, this short, three letter word is on everyone’s lips.  Everyone’s heart.  You can see it in their eyes.  You can hear it in their voice.  You can notice the softer steps and the shoulders slightly bent. 

Why?  Why?   Why?

This short, three letter word is used over and over and over.  The “why” is usually followed by “if only?”  And we torture ourselves with these words.

There have been many posts on Facebook and articles in the paper and on the news about Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.  But they are only articles until there is a face – a person – a family – a friend – touched by suicide.  And, when one of those that committed suicide, leaves an empty place in a high school class and brings grief and loss to your grandchildren, the articles become real and the news touches your heart.  And everyone begins to ask, “Why?”

Sadly, the question “why” rarely has an answer.  Why would this boy commit suicide?  Why was he that unhappy?  Why did someone not see it?  Why?  Why?  Why?

And then, “What if?”  What if he had received a phone call?  What if he had reached out to someone?  What if I had been a better parent/friend/ pastor/teacher/employer?  What if?  What if?  What if?

My grandsons.  The kids at their school.  The parents, family and friends.  They are all facing a loss they cannot explain.  A loss that hurts.  A loss that will require the slow process of healing.

My prayer for them is that they will find comfort and that they will not fall into the trap of “why” and “what if”.  I pray they will find a memory to hold in their hearts so they can say goodbye to their friend.

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The most important thing we can do is to take seriously anytime anyone says they are thinking about suicide.  Or if someone keeps bringing up the subject, it means they could be contemplating suicide.  And tell!!!  You are not doing your friend or family member a favor by not telling someone.  Their confiding in you might be their cry for help. 

Suicide is the 10^th leading cause of death and, each year, over 42,700 people commit suicide.  These are not just numbers!  The articles are not just news!

These 42,700+ people were our sons and daughters.  They were our parents.  They were our friends.  And we hurt when a suicide causes our grandsons to cry.