AND I DIDN’T TELL THEM

I love to see families enjoying and celebrating each other.  Parents totally focused on their children and children actually enjoying being with their parents.  Siblings sharing inside jokes.  Phones are somewhere.  No iPads.  Just family.

I see this often at our local swimming pool.  I will watch as a mother teaches her son to swim or as a father watches his child do yet another crazy dive.  And I remember times with our kids and grandkids.  We swam in the rain.  We swam in the dark.  Our daughter learned to jump off the diving board because she wanted her turn at catching the Frisbee.  Our son was part fish.  I was totally drenched as I stood under the bucket with a youngster too young to stand there by himself.  And I floated on my back as the kids swam under me. 

Memories popping into my heart as I watch families being together.  Enjoying life.  Making their own memories.

It is then that I walk over and tell them, “It is such a pleasure to see families focused on each other.  Your children are enjoying being with you.  You are giving your children valuable gifts – your time and attention.  You are being wonderful parents and I just wanted to tell you that.”

I have done this a number of times and the parents always smile.  A very big smile, as they stand a bit taller, with surprise in their eyes, and say, “Thank you.”

Until the other day.  Three young children jumped right in the water.  You could tell they were friends and instantly knew this was not their first time at the pool.  They were quickly joined by their mothers.  The mothers got wet.  They threw the basketball and, much to the delight of the kids, they missed.  They played with them.  They smiled.  They watched their kids having fun.  It was a pleasure to see children being more important than a phone or a book.  More important than worrying if they would look silly to others.

And I didn’t tell them.

I try to keep my blog political free.  I am vocal enough in other areas of my life.  But at that moment – as I started to walk toward these ladies and tell them the same thing I had told other parents, I stopped.  Why?  Politics and today’s belief that everything said has a racist undertone.  I stopped because I worried about their reaction.  Would they appreciate being told how great it was to see mothers and kids having fun … making memories?  Or would I hear, “So you think black mothers cannot be good parents?”  And there is the problem.

Do I see color?  Of course!  But this time … color stopped me.  And that has never happened before.  I look at people and, at this age, know that there are good people and there are … let’s just say, there are not so good people.  I talk to everyone.  I try to judge people by their actions and honestly, I do not care what color of skin they have.  Until this time … color stopped me.  And I have felt guilty ever since. 

In that moment, I allowed the bullies that cry “racism” to win. 

 

I hope I see these mothers at the pool.  I will tell them they are giving their children valuable gifts – their time and attention.  I will tell them they are wonderful parents.

I will not allow politics and today’s belief that everything said has a racist undertone to bully me into silence again.