BLESSING OF THE FIELDS

 Our church had a Blessing Of The Fields last Saturday.  There were only a few people there.  Even with the enticement of donuts and coffee, the farmers were in the fields.  Field work is a priority.  As our pastor said, “Where two or more are gathered…”  There were more than two and the program started.

 Earlier in the week, I thought, “I bet they will only say good things about the farmers.”  One thought leads to another and I decided I would be prepared to tell the truth.   Sure enough, only good words were muttered.  A video, So God Made Farmers, was shown and a poem was read. 

 I could stand it no longer.  Before they could say a prayer of blessing, I stood up and said, “I have a few comments.”  Oh the look on their faces was priceless!  And I began:

 FARMERS

I hate to tell you, but they are NOT perfect.

First, I question their basic education.  THEY CANNOT TELL TIME!  Cell phones have increased the problems associated with this lack of education.  How often do you hear a farmer say, “I will be in for supper in 45 minutes?”    Or, “I will be done with this field in ten minutes, could you come help move equipment?”    And the always accurate, “I am only working until 11:00 PM.  I need sleep.”

These statements actually mean:

• ·       I have no idea when I will be there for supper.
• ·     Please come to the field and help us move, but don’t hurry.  Auto Steer has a bit of trouble with point rows and planting corners.
• ·       You don’t need to wait up for me.  Finishing this field might mean 11:00 or 12:00 or 1:00 AM.

 Second, farmers also lack knowledge in giving directions and they cannot count. 

• ·      “Could you bring the pick up to the Smith Farm?”  Where?  “You know on 500 S..no, it is 500 N, just past the tree where the hawk was the other day.”
• ·    Farmers using their hands to give directions takes on a whole new level of confusion.  Exactly what does a circle mean when you are trying to watch and back up a piece of equipment?  Is it their left or mine?  And what does an eye roll and a look at heaven mean?
• ·    “Hey, we could really use some help.  (This part is true.)  Could you pick us up?  Then take us to Chamberlains and then take Jeff back to Rosen’s?”  Now what they failed to tell me was that there were 4 guys and I made 5 – 5 for my 4-seater vehicle.  Everyone knows Christian.  (For those that do not know him.  Christian is almost six feet tall.) Use your imagination.  Christian went to the back of my Acadia, opened the hatch, folded himself inside, and shut the hatch. 

Third, farmers do not keep essential information available for future use.  I did a presentation to the church women and when I asked the women, “What do you hate the most?”  They literally shouted the same answer.  GOING FOR PARTS!  That is where the information for future use comes in.  (Where is the parts manual?  Are you sure this is all the information I need?  Can I take the part with me, which is a silly question because they will be removing the part while you are gone.)  Talk about a room of women getting very animated and each story topping the last.  Every farm mother, sister, wife, or daughter swears they cringe when they hear the word PARTS. 

My worst parts story:  “Can you go get a part?”  Of course.  (You need to know this meant getting two children into the car, along with drinks, snacks, and a toy or two.  Way before cell phones and devices. And no part store is ever close.  Or at least one that has that particular part. ) Do I have all the information?  “Yes.”  Promise?  Remember last time.  “I promise.  It is all written down.”  And I believed him!  I handed the paper to the nice man behind the counter and assured him that slip of paper had every bit of information he would need.  The nice man looked at the paper and, with an absolutely straight face, asked me, “Is this for the right or left side?”

So, do not believe all the good things you hear about farmers.  They have faults – and

• ·   They have a love of the soil and feel the responsibility to preserve a way of life for the next generation
• ·      They have a work ethic that does not run on a schedule
• ·     They know how to get dirty, they are not above picking up rocks, and they know how to gently dry off a new born calf
• ·   They are called dumb farmers and some claim that anyone could be a farmers, but they drive equipment that has a value which includes lot of “0’s”
• ·       They know how to say a cuss word when the hammer misses the nail and they know how to say a prayer of thanksgiving when the rain comes and the harvest season ends with bins full and everyone safe

 Then we prayed a blessing for safety and good crops.