BEING A WOMAN

I would like to point out a few things about being a woman.

HAIR:  We want our hair to look perfect, but that is not as easy as it sounds.  A really great beautician is the only person who can get a cow lick to cooperate.  When doing our own hair, it takes half a can of spray or number 18 mousse to control one cow lick.  Are you a woman who colors your hair?  Then your greatest hair fear is that your color will be discontinued.  When this happened to me, two very sweet, older-than-dirt ladies asked about my hair.  When I explained why I was trying a new color, they quickly said, “Well, don’t get that one again.”  I didn’t.

MAKEUP:  There are a few women who feel totally comfortable with no makeup or just a dab of lipstick.  For most women, makeup is a line item in the family budget.  A morning routine of washing our face, putting on protective cream, adding a foundation to even out skin tones, deciding what three colors of eye shadow to use, carefully applying mascara, drawing the shape of our eyebrows, using blush to make our cheeks all rosy, and topping it all off with lipstick can be done in 15 minutes.  This is not a complete list and new and improved items are available daily.  Warning:  Applying makeup should not be done while driving.

CLOTHING:  What could I say about clothes?  Having never been someone who loves to shop and because I am way past size 0… Now that is a place to start.  How can there be a size 0?  Really?  Size 0?  Fashions come and go.  Back in the good-ole-days there were clothes for church, clothes for school, and clothes for playing/work.  Wearing your shirttail out was frowned upon and skirts above the knee were scandalous.  Today, you can buy Doice & Gabbana distressed (Code for we are charging extra to rip your jeans to shreds) cargo straight-leg jeans at 40% off or a mere $1,652.  If you do not have that amount and lack any modesty whatsoever, you can get jean shorts for $607.  These shorts should only be worn, as advertisement, by women who find their source of income on street corners. 

CLOTHING SUB-CATEGORY 1:  Girdles.  We called them girdles.  Now they call them shape wear.  No matter the name, why are women still punishing themselves?  Putting on that article of elastic is a full body workout.  They go from below the breasts to mid-thigh -- how do you go pee in those things? 

CLOTHING SUB-CATEGORY 2:  Bras.  The original bra was the brilliant idea of French inventor, Herminie Cadolle.  Bless her heart.  This article of clothing, created to lift and separate, is easier to get on than a girdle, IF you can put your arms behind your back and get the hook in the right eye.  Putting on a bra should count toward your annual physical as arm/shoulder mobility and finger dexterity.

SHOES:  Wow!  A three-inch heel gives the illusion of slimmer legs.  They look sexy!  They … ruin your feet, knees, ankles, nerves, blood flow, hips, back, and contribute to the risk of falling.  Oh but those Moon Star Shoes, by Antonio Vietri, put the finishing touch to my outfit.  And they are only $20 million… yes you read that right.  Three inch heels sure are sexy!  Do not forget the pantyhose.  They can cost a few bucks or hundreds.  And no matter the cost, they are hard to put on and can get a run the first time you wear them.  After that, they make good dog chews or a way to store onions.

MENSTRUATION:  The monthly curse!  When defining menstruation, monthly is a relative term.  There is no normal “period.”  It is different for every woman.  Some suffer – really suffer – and some breeze right through it.  I always thought it would only be fair if men had the periods.  Now I know this would never work.  Men would never make it through one time of bend-over, kill-me-now cramps.  Time passes and the randomness gets even crazier.  Women can go months without having a period, think they are into that time of life, and then – wham – we have to find that box of pads we stuck in the back of the closet.  Moving on –

CHILDBIRTH:  Childbirth is a wonder and a blessing.  Some women have an easy time during delivery and some – let’s just say, some do not.  Labor hurts and, prior to the epidural women receive today; pushing out a 5-10 pound baby was painful.  And required stitches.  Women, sadly, still die from childbirth complications.  Even more heartbreaking is the number of women who abort their babies. 

BEING A WOMAN:  WHY HAVE I WRITTEN THIS?

Woman:  An adult female person,

an individual of the sex which conceives and brings forth young

Being a woman has absolutely nothing to do with hair, makeup, clothing or shoes.  Being a woman has everything to do with how God created us. 

Even if for some medical reason a woman is not able to conceive or chooses not to conceive, women have a reproductive system which makes it possible to conceive and to carry and deliver a baby.  Women are wonderfully created to breastfeed.  Women are different from men and have a wider pelvis, broader hips, larger breasts, less facial hair, higher body fat, on average are shorter, and are less muscular.

I  AM  A  WOMAN

And I am appalled that the definition of “woman” is being changed to include transgender women.  These are not women.  They are males, from very young boys to adults, who are being encouraged to enter an unrealistic lifestyle.  They are males who think tucking a penis can make them a woman or taking medication can change their sex.  They are males and, no matter what state of reality they live in, they cannot produce breast milk.  They are males who enter women’s sports and use their muscular advantage to achieve the gold, which they could not achieve when competing against other men.  They are anatomically correct males who, for some reason, think they have the right to appear naked in women’s restrooms, and locker rooms, and should be given accommodation in a female’s hotel room, prisons, and hospitals. 

God created me, in my mother’s womb, to be a woman.  And I refuse to accept this new meaning for the word woman.  A new meaning which diminishes and makes a mockery of all women. 

This blog could be rewritten and titled Being A Man.  This blog would then include the women who are encouraged to enter an unrealistic lifestyle where they think they are men and take medication to change their sex.  Where they dress and undress in men’s locker rooms and use men’s restrooms.  Where they swim in public pools topless and bind their breasts to appear flat chested.  But they are not flat chested and they are not men. 

These men and women are being encouraged to live in an unrealistic world and they are demanding that everyone affirms and joins in their delusion.  I REFUSE!