WAITING

Why doesn’t the phone ring?  They should have an answer by now.  Waiting.  I am no good at waiting.  Give me an answer and I can deal with it.  Tell me what is going to happen and I can plan.  But waiting.  I am no good at waiting.

And with each hour.  With each minute, my fear increases.  Fear because I do not know.  Waiting.  Fear.  Why doesn’t the phone ring?

I do not need this answer for me...well, yes for me too because the answers we need are for our 16-year-old grandson.  They are waiting.  Why doesn’t the phone ring?  And our minds and hearts go in circles.  Just three months ago everything was clear.  There were no lumps. 

Why doesn’t the phone ring?  And the parents wait.  The brothers wait.  The grandson waits.  And all who love this boy....wait.  And with each hour.  With each minute, fear increases.

I heard a minister say, “Courage is not being afraid.” I do not agree with that.  Courage is moving forward, facing life, and taking action even when you are afraid.  Courage is waiting for the phone to ring. 

This is being written June 4th at 5:30 AM and, for those of you who do not know me, I am not a get up at 5:30 AM person.  But, I am waiting.  And words...writing, helps me cope. 

I know this much.  The phone will ring.  Advice will be given.  Action will be taken.  And, with courage, we will move forward and we will face life.

Yes, we want the phone to ring.  Yes, we want answers.  Yes, we are afraid.  BUT WE ARE NOT GOING THROUGH THIS ALONE!!!  Our grandson has been prayed over.  He knows people are praying for him.  He knows he can be afraid and still have strength and courage.  Our daughter’s family knows they are being surrounded by prayers.  The grandparents know they are being supported by prayers. 

And those prayers...prayers to a God who is always there…are exactly what we need.  Exactly what our grandson needs.  Those prayers do not take away our fear or make the phone ring.  Those prayers make our fear bearable and make it possible for us to wait. 

Those prayers support and uphold us when we think we will break.  Thank you to all who are praying.

And with each hour.  With each minute, my fear increases.  Fear because I do not know.  Waiting.  Fear.  Why doesn’t the phone ring?  But, as I wait.  As my fear increases, I also feel calm because I trust God.  I know this is a storm He will walk through with us.  This is a storm which will not last.  I know when the phone rings; God will be beside each of us. 

My guess is that every person reading this has gone through the very same thing.  Waiting.  Willing the phone to ring.  Afraid for it to ring.  And, with each hour.  With each minute, your fear increased.  It takes courage to wait.  It takes courage to wait for the phone to ring, because you know that when it does, your life will forever be changed.  I pray that each of you had the power of God with you as you faced your moment. 

If you did not have this power and peace, I pray you will accept Jesus as your Savior, because there will be more storms.  More trials.  And the power and wisdom of God will go through the storms and trials with you.  They will be hard.  They will test every fiber of your faith.  But the storms and trials will never separate you from God.  He will always be beside you to lead and guide you through.  He will always be there, strong when you can only fall to your knees.  He will always be there, wise when you need wisdom.  He will always be there, faithful when your faith is faltering.  He will always be there.  Always.

-----------------------------

I was hoping to finish this blog by writing, “Then the phone rang.”  Sadly no decision was made today and we will all wait until tomorrow.

----------------------------------

UPDATED JUNE 5, 2020, 5:00 PM– The phone finally rang and I am so thrilled to add a sentence or two.

Do you know why we had to wait?  We waited for God's plan and for doctors to take another look at test results.

The radiologist and team have looked at the ultrasound upside down and sideways.  They DO NOT believe what they see are tumors.  THAT IS A TREMENDOUS AMEN.  Our grandson is still in pain and this has him scared.  Please shout AMEN and follow that with a prayer for his pain to go away.

Waiting was hard.  Waiting lasted five days but each day had at least a thousand hours.  I am so thankful that the doctor did not act upon his first reading of the ultrasound.  I am thankful the doctor worked with a team and the head radiologist.  I guess, I am glad the doctor made us wait.  It was a very wise decision.