RANDOM THOUGHTS

Every so often I like to do random thoughts that pop into my brain.  Sometimes these thoughts start slow and then they pick up speed, but I never know what is coming next.  (Of course, if you know me well, you will shake your head and think, “We never know what will pop into her mind.”)  Let’s see what happens.

I really do not like it when the Sunday scripture is one of those really tiny books with only one or two chapters.  How do you find Haggai or Obadiah between all those Old Testament Books?

Since I am on the Bible, I wonder if those that had to copy the Bible played rock, paper, scissors to see who lost and had to copy all those names in 1 Chronicles. 

While on the subject of naming names, why are so few women listed.  Listen up; ye male humans, without the female humans, that Biblical lineage would be really, really short.  And I wonder if Noah, daughter of Zelophehad, was ever teased for having a “male” name.  (Numbers 26:33)

Do you suppose the wife of the farmer said, “You want me to do what with those?  You do know they came out of a chicken’s butt, right?”  Why would anyone look at a snail and think it looked yummy?  And canned peas are mushy!

Hey, I warned you.  Random thoughts…..

Why do all mothers know how to give “the look” and all children understand it?  Whoever came up with daylight savings time did not have children and did not have to repeatedly say, “I know it is not dark out yet, but it is your bedtime.” 

Why would the car not start for me, but would start the moment hubby turned the key?  Why did the oven work when the repair man arrived?  Why does the washer stop working on the first load instead of the last?

Why do I fall asleep the last ten minutes of a mystery show?  What happened to funny sitcoms?  Why did Marshall Dillon never marry Miss Kitty? 

Why does the dictionary have page numbers?  Along the lines of alphabetical, why do teachers always set their students in alphabetical order?  Those poor a name students are always on the first row.  They can never get away with any mischief, while those w,x,y, and z kids are shooting spit wads.  (I did not sit in the back.  I have no experience with spit wads.  None.  Nada.  Well, there was this one time….)  Still thinking about school, someone can mention chewing gum and thoughts of gum under every seat in the school auditorium pops right to the front of my mind. 

Who in the world thought the phrase ‘raining cats and dogs’ made even an iota of sense?  Or why in the world would anyone want to sleep in a tent, on the ground, where spiders and bugs and snakes could join them and bears could easily tear the fabric and consider them their evening snack.

Random thoughts.  They can appear out of nowhere.  I can be praying and the vision of clothes still in the dryer floats through.  Or listening to the sermon and the chicken will call from the freezer, “You forget to take me out.”

That is it.  No big finish.  No big meaning.  I hope my random thoughts have brightened your day.  I really hope this will encourage you to do the same. 

Take a deep breath.  Now another.  Close your eyes for just a second or two.  Open them.  Begin!  And if you need a jump start, write: I wonder what it would feel like to fly like a bird.

May you find joy in every day!!

HERE I AM LORD

I manage the website and Facebook page for our church. 

The Facebook page has three, reoccurring, weekly posts: Monday Funny, Wednesday’s Songs and Sunday Worship times.  I search for cartoons (church appropriate), listen to song after song on YouTube (believe me there are some really bad singers out there), and put together a “come to church” reminder.  This is a way to reach out to the congregation and friends during the week. 

There is one problem with picking songs.  No matter how hard I try to use each song only once, one song has been used three times.  I can guarantee it will be used again.  Hey, I am picking the songs and this hymn is my most favorite. 

Here I Am Lord, was written in 1981 by Dan Schutte.  39 years – does that mean it is old enough to be a traditional hymn or still new enough to be contemporary?  Either way, I love this hymn.  It touched me the first time I heard it and that feeling has never changed.

This song covers it all.  It tells us who the Lord is.  He is the Lord of the sea, sky, snow, rain, wind, flame, and stars.  The Lord hears our cry, borne our pain, and tends the poor and lame.  He will save us from the dark and sin, has wept for us, and will set a feast for us with the finest bread.  The Lord will make our darkness bright, give us hearts full of love, speak to us, and give us life.

This song, sadly, tells us what the people do.  The people turn away.

In this song, the Lord asks, “Who will bear my light to them so I can speak my word and give them life.  WHOM SHALL I SEND?”

I have used this song after almost every message I have given.  I have never sung this song without raising my hand, as I asked the question, “Here I am, Lord.  Is it I, Lord?  I heard you calling in the night.”

I have never sung this song without tears in my eyes, as I answered, “I will go, Lord, if you lead me.  I will hold your people in my heart.”

Where does the Lord want me to go?  I know he gives me words and then I turn them over to him.  I have no control over who will or will not read them.  He will direct those words where he wants them to go.

I know he has put trials in my life that I did not want and did not understand.  I also know those trials have given me an understanding of what others are going through and the opportunity to encourage them.

I know he gave me a desire to hear other’s stories.  I have met amazing strangers because they made a comment and I asked a question.  I have heard joyful and sad stories from people I know.  I love to record their stories and need to start doing that again.  Or maybe, recording stories is something the Lord had me do for a certain time and place.

Sometimes I have no idea where the Lord is leading me.  I only know one thing.  After hearing this song, all those years ago, my hand raises and my heart, my very soul, cries out, “Here I am, Lord.  Is it I, Lord?  I will hold your people in my heart.”

If you have never heard this song, please use this link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcxOkht8w7c

ISN’T IT OBVIOUS

We have had an ice cream freezer since the day of our wedding.  I think we received three.  They all worked for a bit, but each eventually made cold milk instead of ice cream.  A White Mountain was purchased and, sadly, after 30+ years, it has worn out.  I do mean worn out!  Parts that began as square were now worn into a circle.  It was time to purchase a new one. 

First, who could have imagined the price of a wooden bucket, a can and paddle, and motor would increase so much! The new freezer will still be working — or it better be — when I am looking down and watching the grandkids figure out who gets possession of the freezer.  (Inside story for the grandkids: This canister does not have a hole in it and the ice cream will not taste like salt.)

Second, there was an owner’s manual and recipe guide included.  We have not laughed so hard in a long time.  Please remember this is an electric ice cream freezer and does not have an on/off switch.  Some of the instructions and warnings:

·       To protect against electrical shock, do not immerse cord, plugs, or appliance base in water or other liquid.

·       Do not place on or near a hot gas or electric burner, or in a heated oven.

·       Unplug from outlet when not in use or before cleaning or storing.  (This was mentioned twice.)

·       To disconnect, remove plug from wall outlet.

·       Avoid contact with moving parts.

And to cover all the bases:

·       Heavy-duty Hand Crank (sold separately) — No cords or batteries needed.

But I am still curious:

• Did someone put the ice cream freezer in a heated oven?
• Did someone clean it and store it with it plugged in?
• Did the lawyer keep a straight face when he told the committee on safety, “You better point out that the ‘hand crank’ does not plug in and does not run on batteries.”?

I want to know why we have to point out the obvious.  How do people not know?

THE OBVIOUS — GOD THE CREATOR

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Genesis 1:1

Everywhere I turn, I see God.  He is in the wind.  He is in the peace and he is in the struggle.  God created the wood our home is built of.  He created the water we drink.  He created sound and color.  Oh how dull our world would be without color.  He gave us wisdom so we could use his creation to develop electricity and medicine and toothpaste and ink.  Without ink we could not write letters. (The mail carrier’s union would never allow them to deliver chiseled pieces of rock.)  I see God in every baby!

I want to know why we have to point out the obvious.  How can people look around and not know there is a God who created all this?

THE NOT SO OBVIOUS – JESUS, THE SON OF GOD

This is how God showed his love among us:  He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love:  not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.  1 John 49-10

Jesus – not so obvious.  No one alive today saw him born, heard him teach, saw him heal, or saw him crucified.  No on alive today saw him go to be with his Father.  Jesus – not so obvious.

I know!  We can pass out Bibles.  We can tell each person it is a safety manual for their lives.  We can point out the highlights.  We can tell them the Bible connects them with God and Jesus just like an extension cord connects the ice cream freezer to the source of energy.  We can tell them, “Here.  Read this and you will be saved.” 

Fun facts:

• Every day over 168,000 Bibles are sold or given away
• 20 million Bibles are sold each year in the USA
• 66,000 are using the Bible app at any given second
• Isaiah 53:5 is the most shared verse on social media

Well bless my soul!  With all that why isn’t Jesus obvious?  With all those Bibles, printed and on devices, why hasn’t everyone read the Bible?  How hard can that be?

But, the Bible, which apparently can be read in 70 hours, contains …

• 66 books
• 1,189 chapters
• 31,102 verses
• 783,137 words
• 3,116,480 letters

How hard can it be?  Apparently, pretty hard.  Many of those Bibles are never opened.  Many give up on reading it.  Many stop because they do not understand.  Sadly, many do not have the freedom to read the Bible.

So how are we to make Jesus obvious?

WE LOVE OTHERS

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.  No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.  1 John 4:11-12

WE TELL OTHERS

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.  And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” 

Matthew 28:18-20

WE ALLOW OTHERS TO SEE CHRIST THROUGH OUR ACTIONS

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?  When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?  When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me’

Matthew 25:37-40

How does your life make Jesus obvious to others?

Or does it?

WHY ME?

Every so often, something reminds me of a previous blog or message.  This was my reminder this week.
                                               
This is a pin I have had for years.  From way back when pins were popular.  I wore this when I was having a bad day.  Sometimes I would wear it for a week.  Bad days can turn into weeks and years.  It was a fun pin to wear.  It made people laugh.  Just about everyone could relate.  When things are going bad, we want to know why.

We ask, “What did I ever do to deserve this?”  Know what?  God never gave me a list.  He just promised to get me through.

YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?

In 2001, a friend encouraged me to take a Lay Speaker class.  I am not sure how it happened, but, as my mind was screaming NO, my mouth said okay.  Off to Lay Speaker 101 I went.  I figured it would be interesting and the book and class would give me tips on how to speak in public.  It was only when the leader informed us we would be writing and presenting a ten minute message that I realized I WILL HAVE TO ACTUALLY SPEAK IN PUBLIC!  I know.  I know.  You are laughing at the thought of me being so … so   We will leave it at so…

Hubby was no help.  He chuckled and asked, “Exactly what did you think you would do in a Lay Speaker class?”  Then, as he has always done, he encouraged me and I began to worry about what to say.  10 minutes!  I continued to wonder what to write as I prepared for the first assignment:  a short devotional.  Although there were no blogs back in the dark ages, I did a monthly writing for the church newsletter.  Writing a short devotional would be a piece of cake.  Not so easy to present.  Present to a class of people.  Real live people! 

Written.  Rehearsed.  Ready.  Set.  Take a deep breath.  Go.  What happened?  It took five minutes to read it at home.  I think it took two and a half when I read it to the class.  The comments all said, “Talk slower.” 

Moving toward the ten minute message, panic set in.  If five minutes could be said in two and a half minutes, how much would I have to write to last ten minutes?  Two pages?  Three?  Four?  Then I remembered the advice:  talk slower.  Maybe I could throw in a southern accent.  That would slow it down.  Then I thought, “Talk slow on what?”  A subject.  I need a subject.

A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE

I saw the pin.  I began to write.

WHY ME LORD?

(Excerpts from that message)

Why me Lord?  I have asked that question many times.  …..  Have you raised your fist toward the heavens and asked loudly?  Have you bowed your head and asked quietly?  Have you just asked, confused as to why things are happening?  Why me Lord?

Maybe I was asking this question at the wrong times.  Since then, I have had many quiet talks with God.

That day all I wanted was a subject.  I wanted something…anything…to write about.  What I received was a gift.  A thought.  A different perspective. 

Why me Lord?  I am no better than anyone else.  Why am I so fortunate?  Why am I allowed to…?

WHY LORD?  What have we ever done in our lives that could possibly begin to earn us your gifts, your wonderful blessing?

“What did I ever do to deserve this?”

How will you ask this question?

RED, WHITE, AND BLUE

As the USA gets ready to celebrate our independence, we have to admit July 4, 2020 is a July 4th like none we remember.  There are memories!

Growing up, my home town had a July 4th celebration that lasted a week.  The carnival came to town!  Rides – the Tilt-a-Whirl, Merry Go Round, and Scrambler – were 5¢ to 25¢ and that meant moms and dads kept extra quarters ready to give for just one more ride.  The smell of carnival food is unique and cotton candy made for sticky hands.  In the middle of the carnival and all the noise was the bingo tent.  My dad had a knack at bingo and we always ended up blankets and towels and dishes.  I am not sure why he only won things mom would like.  They had games and stuffed bears big enough to fill the bed of the pickup.  Or maybe they just looked that big to a little girl.  We were not allowed to go in the tents along the outside.  That is where the bearded lady and the half man/half beast and the wild man that ate live chickens were on display.  On display if you had the entrance fee. 

The Civic Band played those patriotic songs that made our hands go over our hearts and soldiers wipe away a tear before anyone could see it.  Babies cried and little kids waved flags.  And everyone kept looking at the sky to see if it was getting dark enough for the fireworks.

I love fireworks!  I love the colors and the noise and the smell and the bangs that make your breastbone quiver.  The thrill of seeing a trail going higher and higher and suddenly exploding into a burst of red and gold or blue or silver.  Then hearing a collective AHH from the crowd.  In the shadows, on the ground away from the crowd, you could see the shape of something, but it was too dark to tell exactly what was going to appear.  A figure would move closer and closer.  A flare would touch the fuse.  The shape became the Statue of Liberty or the Flag.  Hey, that was pretty high tech for 63 years ago.  I tried to find a picture, but we were all too busy enjoying the fireworks to take pictures. 

Yes, life has changed.  Celebrations have changed.  One thing I pray never changes is the word UNITED. 

UNITED is what makes this country special.  UNITED is what makes this country strong.  We are fifty individual states UNITED as one country. 

UNITED does not mean we have a perfect past, because this country was founded by imperfect people and our laws have evolved through time.  It means we are a country using the lessons from the past to improve our future.

UNITED does mean we all have to act the same or believe the same.  It means we take what we have in common and what makes each of us unique and weave them into a tapestry that is beautiful to behold.

UNITED means that on July 4th we wave a flag to celebrate a country that has opened its arms to the world and sent our soldiers to protect, not only our freedoms at home, but the freedom of those too weak to protect themselves.

My prayer, for July 4, 2020, is that we will remember the words of the Declaration of Independence and be UNITED in achieving the goals of our founding fathers.

DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness—

ASK FOR LITTLE …

Today’s blog starts out with a pet peeve I have about men.  I will only use one or the blog would be way tooooooo long.

MEN – LISTEN UP--- When your spouse or your children ask you, “What would you like for your birthday/Father’s Day/Christmas?” GIVE THEM AN ANSWER!!!  I am so tired of hearing, “Oh, you don’t need to get me anything.”  That answer is right.  They do not need to, but they want to.

For goodness sakes, do you realize the joy you are taking away from others?  Picture your loved one being a balloon, all excited about giving you a gift, but they want it to be something you would like.  When you answer, “Oh, you don’t need to get me anything.” it is like taking a pin and popping that balloon. 

Flip it around.  Do you enjoy finding just the right gift for your mother, father, spouse, child, or friend?  I bet you do.  And I bet you can hardly wait for them to open it.  You want to see the look in their eyes.  You want to see the smile on their face.  Why do you take the joy of giving away from those you love?  And do not give me the macho routine. 

EVERYONE – LISTEN UP --- When God asks you, “Which of my gifts will help you?” ---

“Mary, so you think men are taking joy away from others when they tell them not to get them anything?”

Yes I do.  I have had this conversation with hubby for years.  I have tried to explain …

“Along that line, Mary, have you ever taken my joy away?”

Not that I remember.  I want every gift you have for me.  I really like the eternal life one!!

“I do believe your memory is a bit fuzzy.  What about when you have had surgeries?”

Hey, anesthesia and I do not get along.  I have a right to be afraid!

“Oh, Mary, did you come to me or did you take away my joy by trying to handle your fear on your own?”

I seem to remember…

“Mary.”

I kept my fear. 

“You and I have something in common.  You want men to quit taking joy away when someone wants to give them a gift.  I want my children to quit taking my joy away when I want to give them a gift.”

Do you suppose we could have a conversation where you are not always right?

“Mary you are quite the creation.  I think I need to take a look and see if there was a design flaw…”

What? 

“Just kidding.  I have so much I want to give my children – give you – and so often I hear, “I don’t need that.  I got this.”  My joy slips away as I watch the world not use wisdom and faith.  My joy slips away as I see my Word gathering dust instead of being used.  My joy slips away as people do not use my gifts of hope and love and mercy.  My joy slips away as people do not use my gifts of forgiveness and compassion.”

My memory is better.  I am sorry that I have been so stupid.  I guess I am as bad as the men.  Tell you what – I WANT IT ALL!  BRING ON THE GIFTS!  ENRICH MY LIFE WITH EVERY BLESSING! 

“One more thing.  Next time you are afraid, read Psalm 34:4.  The situation will be there, but the fear?  Mary, I got this.”

----------------------------------

It is so easy to suck the joy out of life.  And, it is easy to suck the joy out of other’s lives.  The joy of giving is a real thing.  You want to allow your loved ones and friends to have the joy of giving?  Tell them what you want.  Tell them something:  a special candy bar or a book or a game or a trip or maybe time with them.  Give them the opportunity to have joy.  And humbly receive their gift.

Instead of telling God, “I got this.”  Tell God what will help you get through this day or this second.  Give God the joy of saying, “I have that right here.  You give me great joy by allowing me to give you this gift.”  And humbly receive God’s gift.

HIM?  LISTEN TO HIM?

(The angel speaks to Zechariah)  “Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to give him the name John.  He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, for he will be great in the sight of the Lord.  He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even from birth.”  Luke 1:13-15

In those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the Desert of Judea, …. John’s clothes were made of camel’s hair, and he had a leather belt around his waist.  His food was locusts and wild honey.  Parts of Matthew 3:1-4

But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to where he was baptizing, he said to them:  “You brood of vipers!  Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?  … out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. … The ax is already at the root of the trees … His winnowing fork is in his hands, … burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire.”  Parts of Matthew 3:7-12

HIM?  LISTEN TO HIM?

I am supposed to listen and rejoice over a man that wears camel’s hair?  A man who passes up a good steak for locusts and wild homey?  A man who uses words like vipers and wrath?  Says children can rise out of stones?  Talks about an ax to the roots of trees and burning chaff?  In an unquenchable fire?  He says another will baptize with the Holy Spirit and with fire. 

I think I want to run.  I do not want to hear stuff like this.  And from a man that looks like this:

Were there no barber shops?  Or a good men’s clothing store?  If John the Baptist was going to tell everyone about “the one coming” why didn’t he at least look a bit normal?  I am sure his mother would have purchased him a decent tunic and sandals. 

Besides, he is a bit scary!  Calling the Pharisees and Sadducees vipers and telling them to lay off the “we have Abraham” excuse.  I mean, really!  He listened to confessions of sins and then dipped the poor sinner in the Jordan River. 

John the Baptist was a RADICAL!  Maybe a glass of wine would have helped take the edge off and settle him down a bit.  But then….

Then Jesus came from Galilee to the Jordan to be baptized by John.  But John tried to deter him, saying, “I need to be baptized by you, and do you come to me.”  Then John consented.  Parts of Matthew 3:13-15

  

What happened here?  This man who had taken on the “religious leaders” was suddenly humble.  Suddenly did not want to baptize the man that stood before him.  What happened?

What happened?  Jesus! 

I can hear John the Baptist’s thoughts:  Jesus should baptize me.  How can I baptize the Son of God?  I am unworthy.  Prepare the way, yes.  But ….  Jesus came to me to “fulfil all righteousness.”  How do I say no?  Oh, Holy Spirit, you have filled me from birth.  Strengthen me now. 

I can hear John the Baptist saying, “Jesus I baptize thee…”

HIM?  LISTEN TO HIM?

How do we know who to listen to?  If this Sunday, a person walked in the door dressed in camel hair and munching on locust, went to the front of the church, and started speaking, what would your reaction be?

Okay.  I will tame it down a bit.  What would your reaction be if a person went to the front of the church and started speaking, when they were

• dressed in clothes that were not clean?
• had tattoos everywhere?
• female and was dressed in an unconventional way?
• young? (Less than 20)
• dressed in black, carrying a pitch fork and had horns?

The last one is easy.  We would recognize the devil.  But would we listen to the others? 

Or would we miss the message of someone filled with the Holy Spirit because they don’t fit our image of someone “great in the sight of the Lord”?

OOPS

I was reading our minister’s June 9th blog (http://larry-fromthepastorsdesk.blogspot.com) and he mentioned reading comic strips and later mentioned people working in a funeral home.  As you know, my mind is a bit unusual.

I wondered what happens when an undertaker remembers the morning comic strip.  Picture it...standing beside the family, trying to be very serious, your mind wonders, and you chuckle at the image of the Coyote putting the Acme dynamite in the path of the Roadrunner.  OOPS! 

Oh those “oops” moments!  OOPS!

The LORD said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Will I really bear a child, now that I am old?’  Is anything too hard for the LORD?  I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.”

Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.”

But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”

OOPS!  How quickly words pop out of our mouths.  How we wish we could shove them back in.

Zechariah was the man of the hour.  It was his turn to go into the temple of the Lord and burn incense.  Many were assembled and were praying outside, when an angel of the Lord appeared.  Zechariah was startled and gripped with fear.  I can picture his eyes wide open and waiting to hear what the angel had to say.  The angel spoke:

“Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard.  Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you are to call him John.  He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, …….

Zechariah asked the angel, How can I be sure of this?......

The angel said to him, “I am Gabriel.  …..And now you will be silent….”

OOPS!  How quickly we question.  How we wish we could always trust our faith.

There is no narrative leading up to the mother of Zebedee’s sons approaching Jesus, but, if there was, it might go like this:

“Mother please do not go talk with Jesus,” James said.  “Besides the other disciples will get really upset.”

John agreed, “Mother I know you mean well and you only want what is best for us, but James is right.  This will not go as you would like.”

“What do my boys know?” she thought.  “I am sure Jesus will grant my request.”

Off they went.  I picture the mother of Zebedee’s sons walking a few steps ahead and looking back at her boys to hurry them along.  I picture her approaching Jesus, kneeling down, speaking, and then hearing:

“What is it you want?” he asked.

She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.”

“You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them.

OOPS!  How quickly we wish we had given a second thought to our actions. How we wish we could have a do-over.

OOPS!

How quickly words pop out of our mouths.

How we wish we could shove them back in.

How quickly we question.

How we wish we could always trust our faith.

How quickly we wish we had given a second thought to our actions.

How we wish we could have a do-over.

Personally, I have a problem with all of these.  I say “oops” on a regular basis.  Words pop out which I definitely wish no one had ever heard.  I question instead of trusting my faith. More times than I can count, I wish I had given more thought to my actions.

OOPS!  A word I wish I did not use so often.

WAITING

Why doesn’t the phone ring?  They should have an answer by now.  Waiting.  I am no good at waiting.  Give me an answer and I can deal with it.  Tell me what is going to happen and I can plan.  But waiting.  I am no good at waiting.

And with each hour.  With each minute, my fear increases.  Fear because I do not know.  Waiting.  Fear.  Why doesn’t the phone ring?

I do not need this answer for me...well, yes for me too because the answers we need are for our 16-year-old grandson.  They are waiting.  Why doesn’t the phone ring?  And our minds and hearts go in circles.  Just three months ago everything was clear.  There were no lumps. 

Why doesn’t the phone ring?  And the parents wait.  The brothers wait.  The grandson waits.  And all who love this boy....wait.  And with each hour.  With each minute, fear increases.

I heard a minister say, “Courage is not being afraid.” I do not agree with that.  Courage is moving forward, facing life, and taking action even when you are afraid.  Courage is waiting for the phone to ring. 

This is being written June 4th at 5:30 AM and, for those of you who do not know me, I am not a get up at 5:30 AM person.  But, I am waiting.  And words...writing, helps me cope. 

I know this much.  The phone will ring.  Advice will be given.  Action will be taken.  And, with courage, we will move forward and we will face life.

Yes, we want the phone to ring.  Yes, we want answers.  Yes, we are afraid.  BUT WE ARE NOT GOING THROUGH THIS ALONE!!!  Our grandson has been prayed over.  He knows people are praying for him.  He knows he can be afraid and still have strength and courage.  Our daughter’s family knows they are being surrounded by prayers.  The grandparents know they are being supported by prayers. 

And those prayers...prayers to a God who is always there…are exactly what we need.  Exactly what our grandson needs.  Those prayers do not take away our fear or make the phone ring.  Those prayers make our fear bearable and make it possible for us to wait. 

Those prayers support and uphold us when we think we will break.  Thank you to all who are praying.

And with each hour.  With each minute, my fear increases.  Fear because I do not know.  Waiting.  Fear.  Why doesn’t the phone ring?  But, as I wait.  As my fear increases, I also feel calm because I trust God.  I know this is a storm He will walk through with us.  This is a storm which will not last.  I know when the phone rings; God will be beside each of us. 

My guess is that every person reading this has gone through the very same thing.  Waiting.  Willing the phone to ring.  Afraid for it to ring.  And, with each hour.  With each minute, your fear increased.  It takes courage to wait.  It takes courage to wait for the phone to ring, because you know that when it does, your life will forever be changed.  I pray that each of you had the power of God with you as you faced your moment. 

If you did not have this power and peace, I pray you will accept Jesus as your Savior, because there will be more storms.  More trials.  And the power and wisdom of God will go through the storms and trials with you.  They will be hard.  They will test every fiber of your faith.  But the storms and trials will never separate you from God.  He will always be beside you to lead and guide you through.  He will always be there, strong when you can only fall to your knees.  He will always be there, wise when you need wisdom.  He will always be there, faithful when your faith is faltering.  He will always be there.  Always.

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I was hoping to finish this blog by writing, “Then the phone rang.”  Sadly no decision was made today and we will all wait until tomorrow.

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UPDATED JUNE 5, 2020, 5:00 PM– The phone finally rang and I am so thrilled to add a sentence or two.

Do you know why we had to wait?  We waited for God's plan and for doctors to take another look at test results.

The radiologist and team have looked at the ultrasound upside down and sideways.  They DO NOT believe what they see are tumors.  THAT IS A TREMENDOUS AMEN.  Our grandson is still in pain and this has him scared.  Please shout AMEN and follow that with a prayer for his pain to go away.

Waiting was hard.  Waiting lasted five days but each day had at least a thousand hours.  I am so thankful that the doctor did not act upon his first reading of the ultrasound.  I am thankful the doctor worked with a team and the head radiologist.  I guess, I am glad the doctor made us wait.  It was a very wise decision.